My name is Gordon Clark and I am on a calling journey. I am from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. I was raised Pentecostal, in a very strict religious home. There was more law than love in our home. In fact, you would earn love through the practice of biblical law. I was very good at being what I viewed as being a Christian. I was top of my Sunday School classes, and as I grew into the youth group and then the young adults, I would look down on my peers because I was at the top of every ministry. I turned every ministry I was in into an idol. Without God in my ministry, I became burned out, I started to backslide because I was not into worship or scripture reading or even prayer. I started getting doubts that maybe I wasn’t a Christian and soon after left the church.
It was a struggle for me coming back to God. I was engaged in various worldly behaviors. I was quite hedonistic in my pursuit of the flesh. I practiced other religions, experimented with Satanism and even rejected God and all things spiritual through the practice of atheism.
In my time as a prodigal, I always felt that Jesus was going to get me back like I was a fish struggling to get away but the fisher of men would always get his catch. When I got less hostile towards Christians and ended my rebellion, I was hesitant to go back to church because I felt unworthy and ashamed. I got good mentors that helped me realize my anger in the past was not to my parents, the church or even to God that it was anger at myself. So after releasing the hurt and forgiving myself and seeking forgiveness, I came to really know myself in Christ.
I came to realize that as a man my faith is not my parent’s faith. Then, I could seek my relationship with Him in grace. It took me a long time to get back into ministry but I kept hearing God telling me to pursue it. This time, He replaced my Pharisee heart, with a servant leader’s heart. I constantly thank God for my second chance. That second chance includes this free ministry training at Christian Leaders Institute on my calling journey. I will do what God wants me to do and go where God leads me.
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