Vision To Spread God’s Love
My name is Jennifer Heidinga, and I have the vision to spread God’s love. I am from Ontario in Canada. I was not brought up in the Christian faith in my home. However, I was brought to Sunday school by my mom as a child and confirmed as a Christian at nine or ten years old. Without the reinforcement of faith at home, after I stopped attending Sunday school in 7th grade, I drifted from my faith.
Search for Inner Peace
I started a search for inner peace wherever I could find it. I could not find what I was looking for in the books I read, searching for the truth. Through Christian friends in my high-school years, I came to a faith in God, not a real understanding, but simple belief. It would take years until I was in university before I came to complete faith in Christ.
At that time, I was experiencing intense spiritual warfare over my salvation. I felt so strongly that something was missing in my life. I accepted Christ at age 19 in hopes of stopping the attacks. It stopped at that moment. I have come to understand that spiritual warfare never really ends; however, it just changes form and tactics over different seasons of life.
Struggle with Depression and My Calling
Throughout my teenage years, I was melancholy without reason, both physically and in my written poetry. Once I got married and had children, however, a depression set in my life. Such a dense fog was there over my mind that I couldn’t think clearly or positively without intense mental effort. Through all of this, God was with me. He held me through the fear of warfare, the uncertainty and deep sadness of depression, and many other trials that I faced.
As I was entering into the period of depression over my life as a mom of young children, I sensed that I had a higher purpose over my life. I started writing, but never got past the first few pages. I started the “Getting Started” class at Christian Leaders Institute. But, my mindset was such that the “I can’t do it” attitude was already overwhelming me. So, I stopped the course with only two quizzes left to complete.
My Restart of Free Ministry Training at CLI
This year in 2019, with my children ages four and eight, I restarted my courses at CLI. During which time, I heard God say to me, “It’s time.” Now is the time to move forward into what He has for my life. It is time to take the dark paths He led me through and use what I learned to help others through their dark place, whatever that may be, to a spot on the other side of their view, where they thought would never see the light of day.
Vision to Spread God’s Love
Through my depression and my life, God has worked in me. He gave me an understanding of His love for me and the beauty He sees in me. God considers this beauty in all of His creation, regardless of who they are or what they have done. God gave me a heart for worship and a burden for hurting people as we all need God’s love. As I move forward towards women’s and worship ministry, wherever this path may take me, I pray that God will use me to touch others the way He has touched me.
I have the vision to spread God’s love to hurting women. My vision is for more women to be able to speak the words that my 4-year-old daughter said to me earlier this week. She said, “I am beautiful. God made me just the way I am, and He knows what I will say before I even say it. He made me beautiful.”
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