Spiritual Ministry Journey
I am Katrina Lounette Zupan and I have been on a spiritual ministry journey with God. I was born in Oak Ridge, TN, the third child of a loving family who was committed to the Lord through service and love. My parents baptized me in the Episcopal Church at 3 months old. I am sure I remember this, but, since that is not possible, I accredit this memory to the loving story my mother told me with a few b&w photos from 1961.
At the age of 3, I recall vividly, accepting the love of Jesus. This is not a story anyone told me, it’s the story I hold in my heart every day. I remember my parents picking me up from Sunday School and they asked what I learned, and I started to sing “Jesus loves me, this I know, cause the Bible tells me so.” I know I was sealed with the Holy Spirit. When I was 13, a revival came through our church and our family all went to the river and got water baptized.
I recall the moment I accepted the idea that I was not “good enough”. I doubted my faith, I studied other churches and religions, I asked a lot of questions. I prayed a lot. God was my only friend. I journaled and was in continuous conversation with Him for most of my school years. God is good, always.
My life was not without past trauma issues which played out in our family. Drugs and alcohol were introduced to me by my peers at about the age of 14. I lived this way of life until I was 29. Meanwhile, I lost my husband to a bad lifestyle and had a fiance who took me to a worse lifestyle. I asked God to help me, crying in agony. Soon after, I started to get a warming and yearning in my heart on my spiritual ministry journey. I knew I would find relief and comfort in the church. It was hard to bring myself, a whacked-out junkie, to go, but I did. No one rebuked me. I went again, not telling anyone my story.
Then one day, a friend where I worked asked if I wanted to stay at her house. I could share a room with her 1 yr and 10 yr old boys. I agreed. I needed to get out of the situation I was in. In a late night fight with my fiance in the middle of the week, I told him I couldn’t live like that anymore. I got out of the vehicle, in a very bad neighborhood, gave him his ring and walked away. I still don’t know how or where I went, but I know God was with me. I got off of crack/cocaine without any adverse effects from that moment. Done. I walked away.
Very soon after, I met my present husband, set up by a friend on a blind date. We fell in love and eventually got married. We both had good jobs and found a church we loved.
I went to a women’s retreat. I realized I had a very polluted heart with much resentment and un-forgiveness. On the retreat, I got a toothache and became ill. My friend dropped me off at my house on Sunday. When Monday came I was in so much pain I called the dentist. They said there was nothing wrong and suggested a sinus doctor. So I went there on an emergency call. I don’t remember, but maybe I had a sinus infection. I know I went home in so much pain and agony crying out to God.
God came and showed me a vision of Him on a mountain watching over me while I sinned and He had tears in his eyes. I literally fell with my face to the ground sobbing. I was sobbing because I deliberately took actions that I knew He did not approve of, and it was like judgment day. I sobbed and told him I was sorry, and God forgave me. This took days, in my pain and crying to God. He continued to show me what I needed to ask Him to forgive me for and He forgave me all.
As I came out of the illness, I could see the light of God, but there was still darkness inside my heart. There was unforgiveness I was not willing to let go of. But God said, “You need to forgive others, just as I forgave you.” I felt so selfish and said, “YES, of course, I have to forgive.” So I started the process on my spiritual ministry journey. Some happened instantly, some took years. I still today actively work to forgive others daily.
I’ve been married now for more than 25 years to the man God brought into my life. We have had a good life, good careers, and a good relationship with God. I am now ready to work for God on this spiritual ministry journey with Him. He has been good to me and has led me to Christian Leaders Institute. I have the opportunity to learn more at CLI. On my spiritual ministry journey, I want to spend the rest of my life seeking a way to fulfill the purpose for which He created me.
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