“My Pastor, as good a friend as he is, does not know all my story, he does know about my calling. I did my best to explain it to him. He knows I am doing an online ministry course, but does not know the extent of it yet, but he soon will. I will be telling him as much as I can about the online ministry course, and, as I am asking you also now, I will ask him for a prayer for the strength and wisdom to continue in the right direction, with Jesus’ help of course.” – CLI Student, Darin Pearman
Online Ministry Course- Getting Past the Spiritual Attacks
My name is Darin Pearman. I was born in London in 1961, I was not raised as a church-going child. My parents, ex-choir members, insisted that my brother and I attend Sunday School, but I rebelled so they dropped the enforcement. Religion and its associated melodrama, was no more than a source of ridicule and jokes for myself and my “friends.” Later I became the object of their bullying and ridicule and the school punching bag for the first nine years of school. (This led to some psychological issues which were only dealt with recently.)
In 1975 our family moved to Montreal, Canada. My father, a Technical Design Engineer, accepted a new job with Brown-Boveri. Unfortunately, the level of education he required meant he was hardly ever at home. Like his dad before him, he didn’t show any affection to his children either. So although I knew my father growing up, he was not available to me as a loving parent. Anyway, once we had settled into our new life I resolved never to allow myself to be bullied again. Unfortunately, that had the reverse effect, and I became unapproachable to many. This carried over to my college years until I flunked out in 1981. During that time I turned to the drug culture and rock music while I worked my first real job.
About then I met my first wife, we dated for two years before we got married. (She already had a son) By this time my rocker lifestyle had cost me my job so I was unemployed. We survived another two years, having had a daughter by this time, when she left me for my best friend. I managed to get custody of my daughter as she had to work for a living.
After a few failed relationships, I thought I had finally found ‘the one’, and after getting a payout for a back injury at work, we moved back to London, England, to start a new life in 1992. I got a job working as a salesman for a large electrical retailing company and worked my way up through the ranks to become a manager within two years. Unfortunately, my partner had become mentally abusive to my daughter, and because I was often away from home, I didn’t know about it. By her fourteenth birthday, she had discovered boys and booze. I found myself having to go and fetch her from school, quite drunk, whilst in the middle of a stock audit at work. After getting into yet another relationship to try and get a mother figure in my daughter’s life, she ran away from home. I didn’t have any real contact with her for six years.
The new relationship I was in became like a prison sentence. The woman I was with became more and more mentally and emotionally domineering to the point where I was being slapped and beaten in front of her children and brother. I was living in fear of her, and her father and brother, since she had convinced me they were quite capable of murder as they had both done it before. By this time, I had resigned from retail, and had become a bus driver. I had risen to the rank of supervisor, when I finally snapped, I couldn’t handle the emotional abuse at home anymore. I was, quite literally, sitting on the bedroom floor with a 100 antidepressants in one hand and a glass of water in the other when a still small voice stopped me. Six months later, I went out, stood in the middle of a field and shouted out, “God of the Universe, Whoever You are, take me away from all this!” I was totally broken. (Summer 2006). I carried on in this relationship for a another ten months when I made up my mind that I was going to leave whether I lived or died.
So in May of 2007, I found myself with no wife, no family, no daughter, nowhere to live, and as far as I knew, no future. I was still working and had a little money with me, but I didn’t even have a bank account. This is when God began to change my life for the better. Unbeknownst to me, the lady who was running our canteen at work had somehow taken a liking to me, and had offered to put me up in the house where she was staying. This Christian, African (Ghanaian) lady actually wanted to help me. Even though I briefed her on my situation, she still said yes, and, within two weeks, we had become more than just friends. In those two weeks, she had gotten me to go to her church and my daughter had called for a reconciliation! This wonderful lady and I are now married (2010), and I have, along with my daughter and her partner, two wonderful grandchildren. God is so good!
Because of my past, my wife and I went through some very rocky patches, but with the help of our faithful, loving Pastor, we are still together. We still argue from time to time, but the events are less frequent, and less eventful, except for the beginning of this year (2014). Due to what I can only describe as spiritual attacks, I found myself having thoughts that did not fit my current lifestyle (as a Christian, having given my life to Jesus, God having audibly told me during my morning shower that I am forgiven which was very weird, having been baptized, and now speaking in tongues). These thoughts caused an immense conflict in me, and caused a rift between my wife and I. This has since been repaired fully. But at the time, I was very close to breaking down emotionally. After a short prayer, it would seem that God had also had waited long enough, and showed me what was meant for my harm, He would now turn for my good, and showed me just what His Love was all about. It would be very difficult to even try to put that into words, so I won’t.
He also showed me a staircase of fourteen steps, and explained to me that each step was a test, that I would pass the test, but He also showed me that with each new level, there would be a new devil. That trial was the first step, and I had passed. He told me to teach and preach the word of love, but I would need to go through these things in order that I am ready for the ministry. All this took a matter of minutes, but it seemed like ages, and I will never forget it. Hence, I am now going through your online ministry course, and preparing myself for the battle ahead. He did not however, show me where I was to do this, but I am sure He will.
Enroll in CLI’s Free Online Ministry Course
Train! Teach! Preach! And Evangelize! To enroll in CLI’s free online ministry course, click here! No matter how dark your past may look. No matter how easy or difficult your life has been. God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called. Join us today! God bless.
Like us on Facebook!!