I have known the Lord since I was about 14 years old. Getting to know him, with a small home group of believers, was such a huge blessing. I started this course because I truly want to know Him better and also so I will be fully qualified to lead others to the Lord at His bidding. There was nothing particularly spectacular about my life.

I was born in Okemah, OK in November 1971 and by the time I was about 6 months old my family was living in Alaska. I spent about 37 years there and just a few years ago moved back to Oklahoma; following my parents as they have both moved back. They are no longer together. My mother has remarried, but my father has not.

My father drank a little more than he should have. My mother nagged and ate herself to 300 lbs. They fought at times, but they never let my younger brother and I see or hear it. Other than this there was really nothing good or bad to tell. We were an upper middle-class family and I have had a job since I was 13 years old. I went to college, getting a Bachelor’s of Arts with a major in Criminal Justice and a minor in Psychology. I paid for it with student loans I am still paying for.

I have been married twice and ultimately I will have been divorced twice before I finish this course. I have one biological son and two step-daughters from my second marriage – whom I love with all my heart and consider them my own. Through it all the Lord has never left me or forsaken me. He is a kind and loving God who is not willing to lose a single one of His beloved if He can help it and for whatever reason He has seen fit to continue to peruse me, diligently when I have gone astray. As a young girl my mother gave me a Christian reader and in this book was the scripture Isaiah 41:10. It has been my favorite all my life. I want nothing more than to share this God with the world. A God, who even when forced to chastise, does it with a loving tenderness, it is the conviction which hurts the most. Being a leader is in my nature, He gave me this characteristic; I must follow it.
I have studied with some amazing people in my life. I have learned more and more as it seems the time grows shorter and shorter. Seems to be speeding up as well; as if I will have barely enough time to finish this and get a degree. It seems as if the “world” is falling apart. Our believer values have gone by the wayside, replaced by bathroom issues and the value of a Gorilla’s life vs. that of a young child – as if there is even a question. But then again maybe there is a question as to the value of a child’s life. I recently seen a Hillary Clinton Campaign commercial and it was children watching and listening to some things Trump had said and the slogan was “Our Children Are Watching.” Then it dawned on me, what does she really care what our children are watching when she is a proponent of late, LATE – term abortions up to 36 weeks. These babies are considered totally viable outside the womb. They would not even attempt to stop or even slow labor at 36 weeks. It is things like this which make me wonder about the world and how can she not see the contradiction in her supposed beliefs? How does everyone else not see it? Is this some more of the “blindness” the scriptures talk about; the blindness we believers have always understood to mean it was only we who were blind, but now we see. Only recently has it occurred to me there will be some, many (as many are called and few are chosen) many who will remain blind.
What have we come to? We are living in a time of easy-button Christians with the unbelievable attitude that anything goes and there is nothing to be done, there are no requirements, or behaviors to change. I have come to a point in my life I have to wonder if I want to be associated with the word “Christian” anymore since there about a billion people following the hype they are being fed by a gleaming-toothed Pharisee and everyone is just eating it up and believing they have no responsibilities to our Lord.

My soul aches at the tragic loss we will see in the near future when He returns and says “I never knew you.” And they all stand around in shock and disbelief. This has been a brief, but real look at me, Monica. The questions, the thoughts, the beliefs, and concerns in my heart and in my mind. This life, no matter how long, is so very fleeting. I want this tiny bit of my time here to matter, to have made a difference, had an impact on someone’s life for Him. I want Him to recognize me and say “well done, good and faithful servant – now do this… (some more important task – as the servant who was faithful over a little therefore will be trusted and given so much, much more).
My earnest prayer is my God would know me and be proud of me. I want only to do whatever is His will. I know this education is a right and blessed choice. I have no idea what happens next, but I can hardly wait to find out! Thank you Christian Leaders Institute for this amazing, FREE, education – without this option I would never have been given such an opportunity.

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