Pastoring Dream
Read how God brought this woman through horrific trauma and gave her a pastoring dream:
I was born in early June of 1989 to a woman who had multiple drug problems; mental problems; and no ability to raise children. Her problems were so severe that although I was born normal: my sister was born with debilitating mental problems and a heart murmur, and my brother was born with physical disabilities that didn’t allow him to live past his 20s. My brother and I were abused on a daily basis by her various lovers, in every way you could imagine and more. We were starved, left places, sexually, physically, and emotionally abused, etc. Both of us protected our baby sister. Due to her defects, we knew that she would not survive the abuse, so we took it for her.
This went on for five years. Finally, the state took us and we went through a slew of foster homes. There we saw parents that wanted children, just not us. They tried to separate us until my sister nearly starved herself to death. She suffers from an eating disorder to this day.
Needless to say by the time we were finally adopted, I had lost much of my faith in human beings. I had seen many things that no child my age should have seen. I’ve always believed in God even before He gave me my pastoring dream. I’ve never questioned His existence. The first half of my life didn’t allow for it. I remain firmly convinced that He intervened in my life many times, to allow me to live. When our adopted mother took us in, we finally saw a good life. Then in 2001, she was murdered right in front of me by the man I called my father. This ended with a court case and a traumatizing murder trial.
At that point, I began to question everything. We moved in with my grandparents who were strict disciplinarians, raised in a different time, where children did not speak unless spoken to. I retreated into books and church just to avoid being home too much. I use the word “home” loosely as I doubt very much that any of these places were home. I felt something was missing.
I always made good grades in school, often at a genius level. I excelled in my studies in all subjects. My social graces, however, were lacking. They said that I had discipline problems and didn’t know how to talk to people. I had to see counselors and was constantly barraged by violent nightmares and episodes. I was labeled a “psycho”, and due to this I’m ashamed to say, I fell away from God. I dabbled in drugs, hung out with horrible people, and mostly made a mockery of all the gifts God gave me. Finally, though, I woke up. I came back to God to get my life together and became the mother of two beautiful children, a son and a daughter; as well as two wonderful stepsons, all of whom live with me.
Three months before I found Christian Leaders Institute, I had a vivid pastoring dream. One in which everything was life-like and beautiful. I was a pastor, sharing my story. Some of my family were there. There were only so many things I could remember from my pastoring dream when I woke up. Once I did wake up, I could not get this passion for the Bible and becoming a pastor out of me. So, I started looking around. I had no money. I’m a woman. I have two young children and two school-aged ones. The odds seem stacked against me. I know, however, that this is what God wants of me and He will provide a way. He provided CLI.
My dream is to bring God to people just like me. People who have been abused to the point of giving up. People who have lived through the hard knocks of life. People that need to know that God is there. And to people that know God is there, but need to know that He cares about them personally. So that’s my story. Thanks for reading and God bless!
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This man’s pastor call journey from darkness “into God’s Hands” tells a compelling story:
My name is Robert Daniel Kelly and I have been on a pastor call journey. I live in the United States of America. I believed in Jesus Christ when I was just a child of about four. I remember Jesus as a loving and kind man. Jesus loves all the children, right? And I remember the song Jesus loves me from when I was a child too. I was not raised in the church, though. I remember going to church a few times. We didn’t really pray or read the Bible that I can remember.
I never knew my biological dad, and the man I called dad when I was small was my little brother’s father. He relapsed on drugs and stole my little brother away to Alaska, so my mom took the rest of us (my older brother, my twin brother and me) to Alaska to get him back. We got back together with him for a short time, then he left and it was my mom and us 4 boys. There were alcohol and drug usage in the home, but we older three brothers would go exploring and playing a lot and had a lot of fun and adventures. We really didn’t have any discipline in our lives and were left to ourselves most of the time, so we started getting into trouble. We got older and also got into drugs and more trouble. All 3 of us older boys were in juvenile detention and institutionalized. I was sent to a bunch of rehab places and institutionalized twice.
When I was 18, I was going the opposite way from seeking God. I was even reading a witchcraft book. Then the book said Jesus was just an adept wizard and I was offended. I think I even spoke out loud and said: “No, He wasn’t! He was the Son of God.” God heard that and started to change my life and start me on my pastor call journey. My twin brother said he talked to God on an acid trip and started reading the Bible some, so I opened it randomly to see what it had to say. I opened to Acts 1:9 and it was telling how Jesus was lifted up from the earth and hidden by a cloud. I actually went through the trailer we were living in telling people that Jesus is alive and He’s out there somewhere. I also started finding tracts about Jesus and salvation. So I know the reality can bear fruit.
Now I was a believer, not just in a loving and kind man from the Bible that was the Son of God, but also in the risen Lord. I still didn’t know how to live as a Christian and was still living in sin. I was doing drugs and going through some interesting things. When I was 19, I was reading the Bible and saw that it was telling me to be baptized. I still wasn’t going to church but God was teaching me to repent of my sins, and I wanted to obey what He was telling me to do. I made an agreement with God that I would go to the church that baptized me. When I went in and asked about it, instead of saying we can do that at some later time, I was baptized right then on a Thursday, January 23, and I went to that same church for about 3 years.
God changed my life from a rebellious and foolish young man to a Christian man that wants to do God’s will. I wish I could say that since I became a Christian I have been perfect ever since. Unfortunately, I have made many mistakes along the way. I’m 40 now and have worked a lot of different jobs.
Now I believe God wants me to preach and I want to preach. So I plan on getting my bachelor’s degree in ministry, and I hope that will help me to get a position as a preacher somewhere. I believe God is blessing me in this direction and I have a lot of support at the church here where I attend. I think being a minister in the USA will have challenges. There is a lot of worldly thinking. I think there are also a lot of Christians that still want to walk the fence. I’d like to help people to remember God in all the aspects of their lives.
This class at Christian Leaders Institute has had a lot of good stuff to teach me. One point is that this is a commitment and I’m not going to be able to get through it in one month. It is going to take a lot of time studying and taking quizzes. The mentor exercises were very helpful and encouraging. I wrote down those 13 questions and my mentor (the preacher here) was kind enough to write down 13 responses, they were encouraging and I can look back at that in the future. I learned a lot about leading too. I want to be a good follower of Jesus and I want to be able to lead others in a close walk with Jesus for themselves.
A pastor is probably the word/role I most identify with because I believe God has called me to preach. I know there is a lot more to pastoring a church and I would want to have good elders to help with that. I took counseling in college when I was younger and think that could be very helpful as well. I think the experience of being saved and brought into the light out of such horrible darkness and deception is the main reason I want to be a minister. I don’t want anyone to remain deceived and I want them to come to God’s love and marvelous light. A big part of my pastor call journey is that I love to preach God’s word. I love Psalms 119, which about how awesome and good God’s word is.
Where I am living, I don’t have internet, so the church gave me a key and let me set up a computer in a room at the church. Now I can drive over there and take classes with Christian Leaders Institute! What a blessing in my life! I believe God is working things out to make this possible for me. I have a great amount of support here. I am very blessed on my pastor call journey.
Learn about ordained minister study programs at Christian Leaders Alliance.
Ministering Vision
Read how CLI is helping Aariyana Green fulfill her ministering vision to be a vessel ready to be used by the Lord.
Greetings and Blessings To Everyone!
My name is Aariyana Green and I have a ministering vision of service for my Lord. I am a citizen of the United States. I grew up in a simple home where my parents worked to care for us. Growing up, I was exposed to the Lord at a very young age. Both sides of my family were Christian, so going to church was a given. However, I am grateful for the wisdom and knowledge I received as a child. I committed myself to the Lord, professed my soul salvation and was baptized at the tender age of 8.
From then on I loved going to church and singing my praises unto Him. The church was my comfort…until I stopped going. My parents started working more and none of my siblings were of age to drive, so we often stayed home on Sundays. I remember feeling so lost, sad, and deeply depressed by the age of 14. I felt so much conviction in my spirit because I thought I was neglecting God. I was battling loneliness and it seemed that anything the enemy spoke, I began to believe. I was in a dark place, but I thank God I didn’t get so lost that I couldn’t find my way back to Him.
By age 18, I was in high school and stumbled across an organization known as FCS (Fellowship of Christian Students). I joined and had a deep joy that something like that existed in a public school. We would meet to pray during lunch, have weekly testimonies, and even reserved a day during the month for praise and worship. I became back in tune with the Lord and more intentional in my pursuit of Him, overcoming the darkness that had once overtaken me. I knew what the Lord wanted me to do and through the training at Christian Leaders Institute, I am one step closer to bringing that ministering vision into existence!
Thank you for sharing in my ministering vision journey! Pray that the Lord will equip me with the knowledge, meekness, and faith to fulfill the divine calling He has placed on life.
Learn about minister ordination with Christian Leaders Alliance.