Hello, my name is Rebekah Grimm Mace. I was born and raised in the beautiful State of Virginia in the USA. My mother was a devout Christian for over 60 years, and my dad was a WWII veteran. I am the youngest of four siblings. We all were firmly seeded and nurtured in the Lord Jesus Christ. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior at age five and was water baptized. I was deeply rooted in the Word of God and knew the Bible from cover to cover. Further, I heard Gods’ voice at age 5, age 11, age 34, age 42, and age 48; however, I did not answer until age 50. Now, I am studying Bible-based college courses at the Christian Leaders Institute (Learn more about Studying the Bible, Click Here).
The Wages of Sin
I was approximately fifteen years old when I underwent major back surgery for scoliosis. At age sixteen, I had the bright idea that I needed to marry, which lasted for five months. Not a year later, I met my second husband. What a whirlwind that was! That was when I was introduced to alcohol. I gave birth to my daughter in 1983. I was clueless that I had issues of feeling unloved, for I was the people pleaser growing up.
As alcohol became the main focus in my life, it wasn’t long before I lost my daughter and husband. Our relationship was on and off for years. When I was expecting my son, my husband took my 15-month-old daughter and disappeared for some time. I gave birth to my son in 1985. My husband returned and introduced me to my three-year-old daughter. He also informed me that I was an alcoholic. After much denial, I attended and joined a support group.
Ten years later, a new house, decent employment, and one day I decided to have just one drink. Well, that is when I discovered that one drink was one too many. As before, it did not take long before I found myself childless, husbandless, and homeless. Two years later, my husband and I tried it again, only to fail miserably. The pattern continued, and I lost everything again.
Then, husband number three appeared. I found myself expecting my third child with the threat of homelessness. Only, this time I quit drinking. My youngest son was born, and life was a fairy tale until………….. oh yes, I picked up the bottle again. I battled this demon for a few years. Somehow, I managed to acquire and maintain a six-figure job, title, authority, leadership, and all. This was the one thing I excelled in.
Of course, I hadn’t walked in the way of the Lord for several years. However, I somehow knew that should I call upon him; he would hear my cry. I tried everything at my disposal to conquer the demon of alcoholism but was defeated every time. Then I suffered the loss of my dad. Two months later, I lost my employment. Shortly after that, I lost my mother. Next, I lost my health. Lastly, I lost my husband.
Listen, do you hear the whisper to your soul? My indulgence in the world drained my ability to live. Every heartbeat I hoped would be the last. Oh, God, Why? All efforts of taking my own life added to my list of failures. What am I supposed to do with all these feelings? “Reach for the bottle,” is all I hear. Scrambling like a caged animal, trying to find anything to numb the pain. “Is this living? What cruelty and selfishness,” I thought, as I cursed my parents. Every day, every breath, every memory, every waking moment, was pure hell. Sitting in the ashes of what used to thrive, I died a little more each day. Nothing remains in these ruins for which I and I alone am responsible.
Lying on my face in total darkness, crippled by despair, desolate, and destroyed. My face was swollen from crying. I ran out of tears with nothing left inside as a dead hollow tree. Then silence ……….. pure unadulterated silence, and I gave up. I had no demands and no responsibilities, nothing but self-pity. Everyone had left me here to die, and I could not die. Then, a faint whisper, a vague memory, a moment in time, a life ill-spent, a shattered heart, a lost cause, a body without life. What are these memories but torment on top of torture?
My Savior Lives
A whisper, a word? No, it is louder…… not a word, but a melody! Wait, there is relief in this melody! No, it’s my imagination again, as if somewhere a fraction of hope remains. Hope for what? You are a worthless failure! Who do you think you are? Do you think anyone would care even to acknowledge you at this point?
Slowly, peace and calmness overwhelmed me as I lifted my head. No way! As I watched him walk towards me, all of my destitution, despair, desolation, death, and life I saw in him. He said, “I make all things new.” Oh, my soul! My God! I am lower than the lowest. I betrayed and cursed you. He reached for my hands as I heard the most beautiful melody flowing from his heart to mine. “ I have paid for your pain, your destitution, your failures, your sins, and yes, your healing, He said. The very God of all creation sought me out. He put his mouth on mine, breathed into my lungs, and said, “Live!”
The Chain Breaker
Finally, I acknowledged the voice of God as I lay recovering from cancer, which should have taken my life. I picked up the Word of God, and I realized it lives. Growing up in the faith, I had heard only four things about the Holy Spirit: he spoke in an unknown language; he interceded for me; he abided within me; and never blaspheme him, as this is the unpardonable sin. As I began to read scripture, I felt like I was but scratching the surface. The Lord spoke to me, saying, “It is okay to have a relationship with my Spirit.”
That was the beginning of a great revelation to me. As I grew closer to the Holy Spirit, my heart filled with joy. The scriptures took on such depth. I experience the richness of the Spirit of truth, the teacher, the comforter, the discerner. One evening my son and I were in a discussion. As I turned my head toward him, the words, “I am not a preach…” on my lips. Suddenly, the Holy Spirit pulled the reins of my tongue and said, “In fact, you are.”
Free Bible-Based College Courses at CLI
One evening, I was on my iPad, checking my email and reading. I cannot tell you how I ended up with an open web page that read, “Minister training for free.” Thinking this was too good to be true, I took the required steps to receive a free scholarship at Christian Leaders Institute. I received a scholarship for the free Bible-based college courses at CLI! As I was already an ordained minister, I thought, I’ll see what this is all about. All I can say now is WOW!
As I delved into the Bible-based college courses, I found so much that I thought I knew and was embarrassed at how little I knew about Christianity, Gods’ Word, and Jesus. At a time in my life, with no employment or any insight, I saw this was the hand of God. All the doubt, fear, and wondering if I heard God subsided with each lecture, each reading, and each test I took at Christian Leaders Institute. CLI is precisely where God wants me at this time in my life.
The classes at Christian Leaders Institute are high-quality, Bible-based college courses. I am not 100% certain where this will lead. However, I see a vision of working towards becoming a Life Coach. The testimonies from current students and graduates of the Christian Leaders Institute are life-changing. Having a learning disability has not hindered me. The lectures, notes, and readings create the atmosphere of being taught one on one. I know this is a divine appointment. I am so grateful to the Christian Leaders Institute for their generosity and obedience to God. Their utmost mission is to ensure that debt does not hinder the call of God on any life so more leaders can become ministers.