As a young innocent child, I always felt close to God. It was instilled in me throughout my elementary school years of attending Catholic Catechism classes held on Saturday mornings. I dreamed of being a nun, devoting my entire life to serving God and others. Unfortunately, the scripture that reads “The devil roams around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour” proved to be a force in my life and on my spiritual dream. Around the age of 10, I believe the enemy whispered to my soul a destructive lie that even if I was the last person on earth, not even God would love me!
As I grew up I behaved as if that lie were the truth and I spent many years in a state of depression… because of it, my original dream faded. My heart was broken at the thought that I was undesirable, especially to God. Soon in my early teens, I began to search for anybody’s love and acceptance. But that only brought more heartache, to the point of suffering physical abuse along with rejection by young men. Eventually, I became an unwed mother at the age of 17.
It was this event that ultimately led me back to my Father. I felt that my only friends were my child and my family Bible. I was secluded in my bedroom feeling shame over my behavior, and I was driven to repentance and so devoted myself to reading the Bible.
It wasn’t until several years later, in my early 30’s that the power of the lie was totally broken! There was a new Pentecostal Church in town and I began to hear of many whose lives were getting changed by the power of God in this place. A friend that I worked with at a local bank, Vera, mentioned to me how her life and her families lives were being affected and I could sense a joy and peace in her life. So I made a decision to attend this place called “Joshua Generation for Jesus” in Gallup, New Mexico.
At the moment I entered this store front church building, I immediately sensed a peaceful presence. Peoples hands were lifted in the air as songs of worship were being sung and I took in all of this in quiet observation. When the Sunday service was over, the pastor approached me and asked if he could pray for me. Not being familiar with this type of concern and openness, I immediately declined. However, as we spoke further I felt a strong presence urging me and I asked him to pray for me. When he laid hands on my head and began to pray, I felt the weight of sin fall off of me for the first time in my life. Then this warmth which I can only describe as a touch of the Holy Spirit ran through me.
At last, I found the love that I had so desperately sought after for years and years! I began to grow and mature in the Lord and have never looked back. After 22 years, my desire to know Him and serve Him is ever present in my life.
Christian Leaders Institute is another spiritual dream come true. I have longed for such training as I am presently receiving. I hold this opportunity in highest regards. What drives me is my longing to see my family and others lives changed as mine has been. Thank you, CLI; “for such a time as this”, I discovered you.
Learn about minister ordination at Christian Leaders Alliance.