Training Opportunity at CLI
I am Sitanun Chatjirarut from Thailand, and I am excited about the free ministry training opportunity at CLI. Born to a Christian family, I was a stubborn kid. I never wanted to do what my parents told me to do. I believed that I had my way, my own life, and also my faith. God is my parent’s faith, not mine. However, I can’t go against my parents in everything, so I had to go to church every Sunday since I was young with a closed heart. I never read the Bible or listened to the sermon. But, I don’t know why sometimes I felt that God exists and he is with me and takes care of me.
When I wanted something, deep down, my heart told me to pray and ask God. So, I always prayed to God. Same as with everyone’s prayers, sometimes God said yes, sometimes nope, sometimes wait. I never realized his other answers, only yes. Many times, I blamed Him and lost my hope in Him over and over again because I didn’t understand.
Checked out Buddhism
One day at school, it was Buddhism Camping, and everyone needed to be involved. I was part of it, and somehow, I was touched by the monk’s teachings. I decided to turn myself to Buddhism and studied about Buddha’s teachings since I wanted to be a monk at that time. My mom was angry and stopped me on time.
Bad things kept going on in my life. I realized that Buddhism was not what I wanted and couldn’t fulfill my heart. I was still empty and broken as always. However, I didn’t open my heart to Jesus straight away. I just started going to church again, even though my life was up and down.
I got bullied at the schools and university. I got beaten up and cheated on by my boyfriends. My last year at the university, my Grandfather passed away one month before I finished. A year later, my father passed away the day after I started the first job in my life. So, I missed my last chance to talk to him four hours before he passed away. Then, a year later, my grandmother passed away too.
I was exhausted with my life, and I wanted to give up many times. Eventually, I had a depression disorder and needed to go to a doctor every month. I asked God, “If you exist, why me? Why did all of this happen to me? Did you abandon me like this? Why leave me slowly dying?”
God Made a Way
Shortly after, I got to work with my friend. Her parent was a Korean missionary in my city when we were young. When we grew up, we worked together as Korean-Thai translators. So one day, we received some work from an English ministry in Korea to translate the sermon to Thai every week for a whole year! That was the first time I could focus on God’s word. I realized that God was speaking to me in every single word I translated. He was calling me to the mission at the same time. My heart was opened wide to accept Jesus into my life.
From that time, my life started changing a tiny bit every day. But my faith still was not stable, and I still lacked understanding of the Christian life. Therefore, my faith was still up and down because I didn’t surrender my life to Jesus.
Also, my depression was still going on. So, one day, everything became too much to handle for me anymore. I decided to commit suicide by taking pills. My mom found me and sent me to the hospital. I woke up in the ICU with all kinds of tubes in my nose, in my stomach, and my arms. It was too painful to breathe. I would rather die than handle this painfulness. The two nights in ICU was long-lasting. But, I felt God at that time and knew that he saved my life.
New Life and Ministry Training Opportunity
So from that, I was born again in Christ and gave up my life to him. Because I was dead and God gave me life again; it’s not my life anymore. I decided to live for him and to go out for a mission after that.
Almost a year later, I joined a ship’s ministry with OM International. I served on board Logos Hope for a year. I traveled with LH through 13 countries. I’ve been learning and growing so much in my relationship with God and also learning more about myself. I finished my commitment to the ship’s ministry after eight months.
I’m still seeking God’s direction in my life. I want to continue on the mission to help people in need. I want to share the love of God to unreachable humanity, especially to children in the Middle East area. The free ministry training opportunity at Christian Leaders Institute will help me to grow in Him and discover where God wants me.
Learn about ordination at Christian Leaders Alliance.