Born in Hong Kong, I grew up like most children from Asia, studying hard so I will not bring shame to my family. I learned art but not to become an artist since most artists don’t earn enough for a living. Also, I did sports to keep myself healthy.
I became a Christian when I was 12 years old. Even though both of my parents were not in Christ, they were still together. I am their only child. My mum and dad gave the best they could. I grew up in a very structured environment. Deep down I knew there was something missing in my heart, something that would make me happy.
The Search for the Missing Part
Ecclesiastes 2:1 says, “I said to myself, ‘Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good.’ But that also proved to be meaningless.”
I was quite a rebellious child. Also, I craved admiration from my fellow classmates when I was in secondary school. I wanted to feel more important and popular. I went to a grammar school with all girls. So, I dressed like a tom-boy trying to get attention. I was doing great in academics before my open heart surgery when I was 15 years old. In fact, I wasted most of my secondary school time on self-pity and also self-admiration.
When I grew older, I had an addiction to pornography, and I also had strange sexual desires. I could not bring them up to my parents because I was afraid that it will bring shame to them. I did not think my teachers or friends would accept me if I opened up, so I kept it to myself.
When I was getting my degree in the UK, I got the time on my own. I had an addiction to my laptop. I once believed if someone could fulfill my sexual desires, I would not be able to leave him. With such belief, I went to Germany for my ex. However, after two years, they sent me home because my visa expired. So, it did not work out.
God Showed Up
It seemed all my searches failed, but God showed up. He asked me in my dreams, “Why do you keep destroying my temple?” It happened when I was not very convinced that Jesus was real or if he really resurrected from the dead. It shocked me and brought me back to look for Him because the dream was so vivid. I could see it in my head like yesterday. There were some issues that I needed to address with God before I started to walk with Him.
I asked, “God, where were you when I was suffering?” Since I was young, I had much suffering. There were times when I was in the hospital because of surgeries and checkups. There were unanswered prayers and unfulfilled promises from my loved ones. Each and every one of those moments made me feel heartbroken, abandoned, and fatherless. I was glad that God showed up then, but where was He when I was looking for Him?
It Is Not About Me, But You, God!
Job 42: 5 says, “My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you.”
What brought me to Christ again was because of the death of Jesus’ apostles. No man would sacrifice himself if Jesus is a lunatic, they must have seen Him being crucified and resurrected. That is why they were willing to give up their lives for Christ. Especially as the deaths of the apostles were not pretty. They were humiliated before being beaten almost to death and then killed at last. When thousands of saints were being killed or persecuted in the history of mankind because they claimed to be Christ-followers, I was so blind to not have seen and recognized Him to be God.
In fact, I was so small and yet significant in God’s greater plan. All those things (my prayers that I thought were so important for God to answer and my plans of life that I thought I must follow through) that I grabbed onto so tight left me day by day and bit by bit after I began to read the Bible. John 8:32 says, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Also, Matthew 11:30 says, “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” The God of this universe never fails me! He is the God who kept waiting for me to trust in Him like when I was 12 years old.
Learning the Bible More Online at CLI
Yet, in Romans 8:35, Paul said, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?” Then Paul said in verses 39, “…neither height nor depth nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Paul wrote this when he was in jail facing the uncertainty given to his life or death by the authorities. Still, he knew his hope was not here on earth. His hope was in the cross of Christ. My problems are not that huge that my God cannot handle, this is the lesson for me to learn to trust His love and faithfulness.
The craving for me to learn more of the Bible online was getting bigger and bigger each and every day. I could not let go of my Bible apps. One of my biggest wishes was to complete a theology college degree and then to move on to do a master’s degree for God. While browsing the internet, God drew my attention to the Christian Leaders Institute. At CLI, my dream can be done safely without travel in this very strange hour of mankind. Most importantly, it can be done without carrying unwanted debt. Thank you, CLI!
Steps to Sign Up At Christian Leaders Institute
Step 1 – Register for a free study account that automatically enrolls you in the Christian Leaders Getting Started Course Part 1 &2.
After you register, you will automatically be enrolled in the “getting started” course. You will locate the course at your “home” button when logged in. Scroll down to find the Christian Leaders Getting Started Course Part 1 &2 Link. Click the link and open the course.
Step 2 – Complete Part 1 of this course, and then you are allowed to enroll in mini-courses or regular courses.
The Christian Leaders Getting Started Class Part 1 shows you how to enroll in courses and mini-courses. Part 2 of the course connects your calling into ministry with programs offered through Christian Leaders Institute. Part 2 will offer some ministry training and introduce you to the other programs offered through Christian Leaders Institute.